Someone to Love by Melissa de la Cruz

Author:Melissa de la Cruz
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2017-12-04T12:30:38+00:00

n i n e t e e n

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

—F. Scott Fitzgerald

Finals are over. It’s the last day of school before winter break.

I’m happy to finally end this semester. Antonia and Sam have moved on with their own lives. I see her walking with Heather in the halls. Even though they don’t hold hands in public, I’m sure they’re still dating. And I hear Sam’s name announced over the speaker practically every other week because he’s been winning all these debate tournaments. I want to be a trifecta again, but I don’t really know what to say to them.

Too much time has passed. It’s too late.

Zach and I are still talking, but he’s already left on vacation with his parents. They’re taking him skiing for the break. We’ve finally come up with a plan to get my dad to let me go out with him. Zach and his father are going to come to a big fund-raising gala that Mom and Dad are hosting at the house after the New Year. Then I’ll give a speech to Rich about how Zach and I seen together as a couple could provide positive press for the campaign. He’s got a squeaky clean image.

I’ve just gotten out of my AP art history final and I’m returning some textbooks at the library when Sam walks by me. My heart skips a beat until I see that he’s with Nina, a petite Indian girl wearing a trendy purple cable-knit sweater over dark gray leggings. They’re both laughing about something. They look so happy.

“Hey, Sam,” I say hesitantly. “How are you?”

I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I really miss him. It’s not like I haven’t wanted to talk to him for all this time. I just didn’t know what to say. I feel like I totally failed him. That maybe not being part of his life is the best gift I could give.

“Hi, Liv,” he says, lacing his fingers through Nina’s. “What’s going on?”

Nina looks me up and down like I’m a spider that needs squashing.

I mean nothing to her. Sam has probably told her how awful of a friend I am.

This was a terrible idea. I never should have said anything.

“Are you okay?” Sam asks. “You look like you’re not feeling well.”

I can’t say anything. I think I’m having a panic attack. I literally have no voice. My skin begins to buzz with anxiety. Darkness wraps around me like vines twisting and contorting out of control, threatening to take over my whole body. I don’t deserve to be alive.

I rush out of the library, hoping Mom’s waiting in the parking lot to take me home. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and stay under the blankets for forever.

I can feel someone walking close behind me so I speed up. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. Then I feel a tug on my shoulder, stopping me in the middle of the path.

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